Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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