Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Randomize
