Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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