Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
