do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
