there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
