Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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