I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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