what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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