Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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