i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
