i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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