The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So squirting runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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