I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
