Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
