For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
