med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
