I am puke
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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