32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we made out on top of his cat.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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