I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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