theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just high enough for therapy.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
