Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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