She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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