what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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