I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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