it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think my moral compass just broke
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
