Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
