I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize