Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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