i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
