Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
