This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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