dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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