Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
