What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
