you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize