Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month