Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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