so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
