I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
