she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
