I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Randomize
