chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
