yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
