My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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