Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
