2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
