toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
