I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
