I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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