one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize