k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
