You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
