He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize