Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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