i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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