no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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