Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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