I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
