people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You made out with two different species that night
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
